the late 1980's to early 1990's, the US was knee-deep in the
war on drugs (and technically still is today, it's just not
called that). I saw Raid 2020 for the original 8-bit
Nintendo behind a store counter and was instantly drawn to
it. The cover showed a futuristic bad-ass in a trenchcoat
and shades, prepared to bust caps with a huge machine-gun.
The appeal was overwhelming, and having to leave the game
behind that counter stressed me the fuck out. I was
scared someone would buy it before I could get the money (or
trades) to go back there.
I was able to scrape stuff together for the purchase, and
in record time I returned to stake my claim. I don't think
I saw it at first, but after a bit of digging, there it was.
Under a pile of other (better) games, I found it and shook
my head as I wondered why such an obviously "awesome"
game would be buried at the bottom of the pile. It didn't
matter, though, because I had it in my hands! I was so hyped
for this game, and could not wait to get it home. It was underwhelming,
but I was certain there was more to it. It was just because
I didn't know how to play it yet, or because I just hadn't
gotten to the later stages in the game.
That had to be the case, but wasn't. Funny how this game is worth
something now as a rarity, because back then it definitely wasn't
worth a shit (and shouldn't be now). I had more fun looking at the
cover and imagining all the cool stuff trenchcoat dude could do
if he wasn't bound by the makings of a bad game. I even had more
fun acting out these scenarios with my toys than playing
the game itself. It's hard to put everything bad about this game
into one article, but let's start with the birds. Dying from bird
shit is fucking bad. Being shit on by a bird sucks, and yes,
it is a hazard. But this guy has a whole futuristic trenchcoat outfit
complete with hat. How does bird shit hurt him? Is it actually corrosive,
like an acid or something?
Is the bird shit
actually cocaine because the birds are being used to traffic drugs?
Furthermore, why is the game about the war on drugs when the birds
here seem to be the real enemy? I shouldn't have to think this much
about a game (actually, nobody should). This game is literally,
"for the birds." What's worse, he doesn't even try
to point up and kill them. As cool and futuristic as this dude looks,
and he can't even point up and shoot at birds? That's ricockulous.
And why can this asshole walk forward and backward, but not straight
up or down? Up and down are only diagonal, and it's confusing as
hell when you're trying to dodge bird shit. Then, orthodox up and
down movement is allowed in vehicles! What the..? If Raid 2020's
inconsistent controls don't kill you, then bird shit surely will...
Prefer Unarmed Victims
He may not be able to handle the Mexican drug cartels, but the birds
who kill him might. There's no way this guy could wage war on drugs
in the present. If he can't even shoot up or tolerate bird shit,
then how could he go up against cartels and all their weapons? Mr.
Smith and the Black Manta dismantled drug cartels single-handedly,
but Shadow here would need lots, and lots of help. Even in
his own game, he can barely survive combed-over perverts, flashers,
molesters, and...the birds and the bees? What in God's name? Yes,
you read right; who needs to have a talk with their kids about the
birds and the bees when you can just sit them down in front of Raid
there's even bats, inchworms, 'gators, gay robots, and dudes in
hazmat suits. The enemies in this game are fucking bad. The
Uzi on the title screen is the coolest thing in the game, but is
ultimately misleading because the gun you get is pathetic. The box
art shows what looks like a futuristic automatic weapon, and the
title screen shows an Uzi, but what you get instead is some piece
of shit that fires like a jammed bolt-action rifle. Even a bolt-action
rifle is better, though, because at least the shots don't disappear
three feet away! BADCP tries to find the good in (almost)
every game, but damn, finding any good in Raid 2020 was pretty hard.
The game is just so ugly, and its unforgiving difficulty and control
do nothing to make up for it.
(Chinese Finger) Trapped
The audio is bad-enough to make anyone grouchy. The damage sound
is so rotten it makes me get bowel movement. And if I'm not mistaken,
the music is the same in every stage. The music after you die is
completely out-of-place, too, and sounds all happy like something
from a more kids-themed title. Even the cartridge is bad;
it doesn't fit right, so you could put it in, but couldn't
get it out. It was like a video game Chinese finger trap;
like the makers didn't want you to take the game out to play a better
how there's so much to be said about a game that is so bad, with
so little to offer. We've made shorter features on better
games. It's saddening. God, I hate this. What an absolutely miserable
Color Dreams attempted a bible-based game, too, so it's not entirely
unfitting to say, "God, Raid 2020 is miserable."
It's supposed to be about the war on drugs, but instead turns into
an all-day excursion at the docks dodging bird shit. It really makes
you question whether the game is about war on drugs or the animal
kingdom. Fans of Angry Birds might enjoy this tripe, but waging the
war on drugs is best done in better games. It's not quite as bad as
M.U.L.E. (which is absolute garbage) or E.T. (apparently),
but damn, it comes too close for comfort! Some games are treasures
that you want to bury, but this one's just trash you want to burn...
- BAD -
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